Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
