im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She bit a glass in half.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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