These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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