Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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