I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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