I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
