Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
