Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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