She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think your dad took our porno
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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