I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
