So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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