There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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