Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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