I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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