i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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