I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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