she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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