3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.