Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.