I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious