What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
