I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.