I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
