dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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