just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
