hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
