shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
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I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize