We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
