White coat. Heels.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
