it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
