you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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