Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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