i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.