Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

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(202): remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER. http://tfl.nu/2j9f

Replies (3) Good night (2285) Bad night (657)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.

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(724): If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground. (724): Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday. http://tfl.nu/bc8e

Replies (140) Good night (3167) Bad night (784)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose

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(780): So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose http://tfl.nu/01tr

Replies (30) Good night (1319) Bad night (3831)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.

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(918): i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/hs1z

Replies (32) Good night (7604) Bad night (1412)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's only a little bit crosseyed.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.

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(610): He's only a little bit crosseyed. (484): I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much. http://tfl.nu/gez3

Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (2888)
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(253): View more from Washington

No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

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(253): No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions http://tfl.nu/59zh

Replies (11) Good night (2452) Bad night (947)
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(229): View more from Georgia

I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.

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(229): I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7ms

Replies (17) Good night (4547) Bad night (1788)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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(423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0

Replies (8) Good night (3099) Bad night (1014)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

(647): View more from Ontario

Was he satisfied?

(416): View more from Toronto

No, and very vocal about it.

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(416): I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home (647): Was he satisfied? (416): No, and very vocal about it. http://tfl.nu/h3jb

Replies (8) Good night (2619) Bad night (902)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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(601): Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question. http://tfl.nu/eb7h

Replies (5) Good night (2170) Bad night (602)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.

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(952): High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog. http://tfl.nu/sw6f

Replies (5) Good night (1826) Bad night (546)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals

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(773): Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals http://tfl.nu/fp9n

Replies (5) Good night (794) Bad night (764)
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(406): View more from Montana

We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.

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(406): We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/u1e7

Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (501)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.

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(404): I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/w6a6

Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (541)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

where will you be at 9:30 tonight?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

piledriving you in your roommate's bed?

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(603): where will you be at 9:30 tonight? (1-603): piledriving you in your roommate's bed? http://tfl.nu/5e8h

Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (297)

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