He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!