Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

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(607): View more from New York

I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name

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(636): View more from Missouri

His pubic hair was longer than his dick

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.

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(212): View more from New York

what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.

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(660): View more from Missouri

Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!

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