Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.