Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (840) Good night (143911) Bad night (9852)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

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  (419): Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico http://tfl.nu/934w
  Replies (18) Good night (7286) Bad night (1079)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

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  (210): yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons." http://tfl.nu/jfl4
  Replies (10) Good night (5260) Bad night (1491)
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  (716): View more from New York

  your facebook page is a work of drunk art.

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  (716): your facebook page is a work of drunk art. http://tfl.nu/2ehc
  Replies (3) Good night (3661) Bad night (822)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?

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  (575): Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night? http://tfl.nu/drd1
  Replies (9) Good night (3295) Bad night (680)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor

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  (406): Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor http://tfl.nu/fbq6
  Replies (10) Good night (1782) Bad night (505)
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  (348): View more from

  I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say

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  (348): I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say http://tfl.nu/qtqf
  Replies (4) Good night (930) Bad night (364)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."

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  (478): Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like." http://tfl.nu/6r4y
  Replies (6) Good night (1157) Bad night (652)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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  (312): Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that. http://tfl.nu/azva
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (709)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.

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  (281): Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real. http://tfl.nu/xx9a
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (543)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.

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  (708): I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun. http://tfl.nu/pax3
  Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (548)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone

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  (425): I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone http://tfl.nu/cjz2
  Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (240)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.

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  (915): Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas. http://tfl.nu/6zv2
  Replies (6) Good night (508) Bad night (284)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fly high, Fly.

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  (404): Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke (678): Fly high, Fly. http://tfl.nu/tym4
  Replies (0) Good night (689) Bad night (321)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us

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  (404): I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us http://tfl.nu/m7ov
  Replies (0) Good night (350) Bad night (160)

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