the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize