I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
