I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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