I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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