My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
