He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
