He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize