note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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