Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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