super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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