Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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