New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We just shotgunned beers for America
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize