nut hugger
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
