Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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