you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
