I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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