Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
