That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
