dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
