Duck Duck Cougar?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
