What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
