why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
