I want to walk on stilts...naked
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
