You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Houston, we have a squirter
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
