I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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