I'm really into asian looking animals
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
