Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize