She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
