Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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