Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
where are my eyebrows?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
